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The trophy is mine again. And I will update tomorrow.
And knowing is half the battle, right?
Months ago I started my first novel. Halfway into it, I stalled. Or it stalled. Or both. I’m not totally sure. I left one of the pivotal characters mid-stroke with his ass in the air. Months later, I come back to find him still there. Amazing stamina, that one.
But since “Finishing My Novel” was swimming around in there somewhere with my vague new years resolution, I’ve been mulling over what’s wrong with it. It was so easy in the beginning, but then it seemed to have just stopped writing itself.
A lot has changed since I first began this writing adventure. I’ve learned more about why I can write some things and why I cannot or will not write others. That changes the direction of one sub-plot and replaces another one all together. I’ve actually met one of my fictional characters now, too. That changes a little bit. And also, I’ve decided that all names must change. They’re too freakin’ cumbersome.
In short, it’s a re-write. But it should be an easy one, because I’ve got a great piece to use as a shell and fill in the pieces that need filled in.
I’m excited and invigorated. I’m creating again. I get to back up and take another running go at this thing and do it right. I suspect a certain someone who must be in muscle failure right about now will also be glad to hear it.
And completely off topic, but before I forget – you absolutely have to know that Atomic Fire Balls, yes, those little individually wrapped hell pellets we used to buy for 25cents at the skating rink in 1982 now come in – are you ready for this? Chewy! Ferrara Pan produces them. Look for them wherever fine candies and implements of oral torture are sold!
In some cases, the answer is an unequivocal “YES!”
But that’s not the only lesson 2008 has taught (or in some cases, re-taught) me.
A few other areas of study:
- Don’t get into a pissing contest with the mentally ill.
- Always trust your gut.
- Trust, but verify.
I am happy to report that I have proof I have matured at some point in the last 18 years. I recently ran across a similar list dated 1990 which includes such pearls as, Never attempt to stick your head out of the car window without first rolling it down. What a crying shame that I do not remember the event that lead up to my penning this.
It turns out I’ve also come to know myself better, not just in the last 18 years, but in the last 12 months. I’m beginning to suspect this is a lifelong process, and not an academy that will graduate me someday.
I’ve learned that I truly misplaced something with my unexpected retirement in 2004. Not lost, just misplaced. I have a need to be good at something again. It need not (and better not) be the same thing. But it must be something. When my youngest offspring starts kindergarten in the fall, I will begin a course of study at a yet-to-be-determined University. This is resolution number 1. Except it’s more than a resolution. It is so.
And I’ll leave you with my only other, intentionally vague resolution for 2009: I will do more of the good things I did in 2008 and less of the bad.
Happy New Year, folks.
This morning my three little ducklings and I walked down the halls of Duke Medical Center to the genetics clinic.
This walk was long in the making.
My cardiologist has never been particularly interested in whether my oldest daughter and I share a genetic mutation that caused our cardiomyopathies; or whether my son also has this mutation and is forming his own cardiomyopathy or if he just has a larger than normal heart.
The information is superfluous because it changes neither our prognosis nor our treatment.
For the same reason our pediatric cardiologist, though immensley curious, was unable to justify the expense – until now.
It will be a long six weeks waiting for results that ultimately will change very little. My oldest daughter will still be advised not to have any children of her own unless her heart function returns to normal between now and her child bearing years. My son will still be followed to make sure no dysfunction develops to match his large heart. Everything will remain status quo with me, and my youngest daughter may or may not have to continue bi-annual cardiac checkups.
Still, I feel like we’ve taken an important step. We’re six weeks closer to a piece of the puzzle that we didn’t have before.
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with neighbors and friends and family on Thursday, but without the boat load of left overs, it just didn’t feel like a holiday. So tonight I am re-cooking Thanksgiving. My oldest daughter is having some friends over to join us.
This ensures our Tryptophan coma will last right through the next week; delivering us, rested to my son’s track-out, which begins on 12/5. How wonderfully challenging it will be to have my two Santa believers home virtually the whole month of December!
So while the rest of you are coming out of your holiday bliss and preparing to return to the real world tomorrow, I’m reviving ours.
Peace out, y’all.
‘Twas the night before Thanksgivin’
And down in the kitchen
Grandma was baking
And drinking (just a smidgeon).
The turkey was cleaned
And buttered and wrapped
The keg in the garage
Had already been tapped.
Onions and celery were chopped
With such care.
Excitement over the stuffing
Palpable in the air.
All through the house
Aromas did mingle.
Pun’kin and apples
That make your spine tingle.
When from deep in the kitchen
I heard such a clatter
I stirred in my recliner
Wonderin’ whats the matter?
Pots and pans bangin’
And hittin’ the floor -
That’s when uncle Jim found grandma
Sprawled on the floor.
Paramedics were called
And she finally came to
Babbling something ’bout pilgrims
And reeking of Booze.
We brewed grandma coffe,
Then put her to bed.
Maybe next year for Thanksgiving
We’ll make reservations instead.
My phro5ggy friend tagged me with this meme. I get to list 7 things I love, and then tag my other friends to do the same. I’m going to skip the most obvious thing here – my family (including the dogs). That should go without saying. So here goes.
1. I love silent numbers. They add sophistication to everything. Even amphibians.
2. I love to knit. I’m so thankful for Karin who taught me this lovely hobby just a little over two years ago now. I may not be prolific. I may never even be good. But I finally have something in my life that I enjoy for the sake of doing, not perfecting. There’s something very zen about that.
3. I love reading. I’ll read anything, anywhere. And I almost never have read something that I didn’t like on at least some level.
4. I love writing. Writing gives me an opportunity to think of a subject or an object in a different manner. I get to disect it. Often times I come away from a writing project thinking and feeling about the topic differently than I did when I began.
5. I love annoying stupid people. My definition of stupid people are those who don’t realize I’m annoying them because they are stupid. It’s a lovely little cycle that provides endless entertainment. I am not afraid to tell you this because even the stupid people I know who read this blog won’t realize they’re who I’m talking about…even though they’ll be annoyed at this little confession and not be able to put their finger on exactly why.
6. I love Christmas. I don’t care if Walmart cashiers won’t say the word, or public schools can no longer produce plays where children dress up in bathrobes and fake beards to worship a plastic doll on a bale of hay. This is not what Christmas time means to me. It is sacred because it’s the one time of year that general good will is felt towards all mankind. Peppermint and snow and pine trees and sparkles and fire places don’t hurt, either.
7. I love that this meme is over. I don’t do intimacy very well. I use humor to distract from this flaw and it’s very difficult for me to be irreverent about things that I love.
signage courtesy of my friend Danielle.
It’s just that I’m not focused on the same thing everybody else is.
With all the due pride you give a situation like this, I took back the “Most Fucked Up Family” trophy from my dear, sweet LoveMonkey. And it’s going to be next to impossible for him to ever (EVER!) get it back this time.
Tonight, the M-FUF award gets super-glued to my nightstand because of this entry in the Watauga Democrat, courtesy of my second cousins (on my mom’s side) -
http://www.wataugademocrat.com/2008/1027/1031siblingsarrested.php
The obvious omission from this article is what sort of club involves hazing by high school drop outs at the Fairfield Inn.
The not-so-obvious and incredibly sad omission from this article is that both teens (who each have children of their own) have already been convicted of other less heinous, but serious crimes.
So as I accept this award tonight, I’d like to thank all the fucked up people who made this possible. I couldn’t have done it without you.
And the home back. And everything in between.
I can now tell you what’s brewing because yesterday it became official: We are moving back to the DC area. The personal pictures have been taken down and the For Sale sign has gone up.
If you know anyone looking for a home in Raleigh, please direct them here.
So aside from living our normal, hectic life whilest keeping the home clean and show ready just in case we get that moment’s notice that someone wants to view, I am busy looking for the new home and falling in love with every fifth one I find on Realtor.com. Wish me luck with that.
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